


Being Altean

by Mellium



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Pidge | Katie Holt, Alternate Universe, Angst, Family, Family Fluff, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Gen, One Shot, Paladins, Slice of Life, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Mom Allura (Voltron), Team Voltron Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 20:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12733821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellium/pseuds/Mellium
Summary: It's hard enough that her dad and brother are lost out in space. It only seems to get worse as small truths come to light- like the small fact that Pidge might actually not be as human as everyone thinks she is. But the paladins are exactly what they always have been- family. And family sticks together no matter what. Altean!Pidge





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I always have found the idea of Altean!Pidge to be interesting. If anyone has any ideas or requests they'd like to see portrayed in an Altean!Pidge AU, comment them! I'd love to see what ideas people have! This story is request based!

"What was Altea like?"

Pidge's cheeks flushed slightly at the way Allura glanced her way. There was no unkindness or even a hint of exasperation in the princess' eyes but Pidge herself couldn't help but be a little bit embarrassed.

She's only asked for like the hundredth time.

Pidge leaned up against the railing on the bridge and looked back at the console board. She could've asked Coran, who was always willing to give a generous amount of information about the planet. But this time, like many times before- she asked Allura.

Not that Pidge would ever say anything to Coran, but she preferred asking Allura. The Altean princess was always busy, as was Coran of course- and sometimes Pidge felt she was overstepping her bounds with the same question over and over, but… There was something about Allura's answer that just felt so much more real.

There was something more personal about the way Allura would talk about Altea. Sometimes when Pidge would listen to her speak, it would be as if they weren't in the console room anymore but far away in forgotten time and a forgotten place.

Every time Pidge asked, she got a different answer in kind. There was always something new to know and something new to learn.

The princess hummed quietly to herself and tilted her head in thought as she almost seemed to look through Pidge. Her eyes were glossed over in almost a daze of thought and a soft smile grazed her lips. Pressing a few buttons, the computer screen glowed a soft blue before Allura turned towards the paladin.

The princess took a small breath, "Have I ever told of the Summer Harvests?" Her voice accented the quiet of the room, bathing it in a rich, soothing tone. Pidge couldn't help but smile before leaning back against the railing, wrapping her arms comfortably against the metal.

Allura always starter with a question.

"Every year, after the rains had finished and each tree had flowered and bore its fruit, the Alteans would come together for a summer harvest." Allura began, taking a deep breath, "The farmlands needed to be picked and replanted for our next growing season- despite what you're thinking, Pidge," The princess' lip curved into a smile, "-the purple juniberry is not the only plant we have on Altea, though that particular flower is very abundant and one of my personal favorites."

Allura flicked a few buttons on the control board, "The harvest date is always different each year. One could only start the harvest when every tree had bloomed."

The princess shook her head lightly and her silvery hair spilled over her shoulders, "It was considered very lucky to have the last tree bloom, you could always count on having good fortune for the next growing season if your tree was the starting point for the next season." Allura smiled, "I remember when the royal gardens contained the last blooming Snow Fleur, my father was so proud!"

Pidge couldn't help but smile at Allura's giddiness.

"But once every five cycles, Altea's three moons would align and into a harmonic convergence that always happened on that year's summer harvest." Allura continued, pausing briefly in thought, "When they would align, Altea's shining star would cover everything in its silver light and every tree would glow with brilliant color.

The princess quieted for a moment, "Each flower looked as if it was covered with stardust," The princess hushed, closing her eyes for a brief moment, "On the year of the harmonic convergence, there would be a great cause for festivity and much celebration. Vendors would line up for stretches down the roads as each village set up in preparation. School was canceled by the time the first moon had reached a point of quincunx. Everyone would lend a hand to help the preparations."

"So what did the royal family do for the celebration?" Pidge asked, her brow narrowing in thought.

Allura smiled, "Well, along with the small events and vendors that would sell their wares in each village, the palace held its own events. Young Alteans would come from miles around to compete in the national games for a chance to win a Starfire. We held dozens of preliminary competitions and the only way compete in the final rounds was to place in all of them."

Pidge frowned her her nose wrinkled, "What's a starfire? Is it some kind of trophy?"

"A Starfire is not a goblet but a flower," Allura's hands fell to her lap, "A very rare flower by the full name of ardenti stellarum. It only blooms every five years at the peak of the alignment which we Altean's call the quinquennium."

Pidge murmured the strange word to herself and frowned thoughtfully.

"Each year only one blooms," Allura continued, "The flower used to be abundant but as the years went by, the golden fire lily began to dwindle in numbers until it became nearly extinct." The princess paused in her rambling and gave the green paladin a funny look, as if something had just occurred to her, "Why would anyone give a cup out as a prize to be won.

Pidge frowned and finally just shrugged her shoulders, "Actually, I've never really thought about it like that before. I suppose a golden trophy is just something that Earth associates with winning I suppose."

"Oh!" Allura nodded in understanding, "So gold is a precious metal on your planet, then?"

Pidge blinked and let out a slight laugh, "Oh, no! Well- gold is a precious metal but no one ever uses real gold for a trophy, they only paint it to look yellow. Usually the trophy is made from plastic. The only time they ever use real gold would be for something like the Olympics or something which only happens every two years."

"So you earthlings compete for a painted mold..?" Allura ventured, her voice tinged with confusion. "So when Lance talks about his 'trophies', he really means a collection of melted plastic?"

Pidge snickered slightly at the wording nodded, "I suppose it's more of the principle of the idea of winning than the actual trophy itself, but you should take that up with Lance." Pidge added, internally grinning at the thought. "And it's not like every Altean competition the winner would receive a starfire, right?"

Allura nodded, "You are indeed correct! We could never afford to do such a thing. But I still can't see the merit in receiving twisted building materials as an award of a high degree."

"It's just an Earth thing I guess." Pidge shrugged, it wasn't as if she had received many trophies for much of anything while she was in school besides from the robotic club. But even then, the robotics club didn't give out the golden trophies like most other sports teams. Pidge smiled, remembering a few of the cooler gadgets that she had won when she had been a bit younger. She didn't care what anyone said, the robotics club was much cooler than any old sports team. And if she was being honest with herself, she could've totally won the grand prize in this year's competition too.

"What challenges does an earthling compete in to get these 'trophies'." Allura stumbled slightly over the word and her mouth twisted as if she wasn't sure how it felt on her tongue.

Pidge paused for a moment.

"Soccer." Pidge stated, nodding thoughtfully, "Sports mostly but I think most kids have one of those little soccer trophies that they got when they were kids because their parents signed them up for recreational."

"Sock or?" Allura carefully sounded out the word and repeated it carefully to herself.

"Yep, that's the word. I'm not that great at it but I'm sure Lance and Keith could show you a few moves if you were interested."

The two boys were much better at the sport than Pidge herself could ever dream of being. She could think of a few soccer trophies that were probably dusting up in the Holt family attic in some box. Two years of ducking from a ball was a childhood memory that the green paladin would gladly leave rotting in a cardboard box up in the attic. Her face happened to be a ball magnet and she was just glad that none of the pictures had manages to survive.

"Well, we may not have had 'sock or' but we did have a few other events to compete in." Allura proudly stated, pride clearly coloring every word. "When an Altean would prove themselves in the arena and become a champion of the games, they were brought in as a special guest of the Harvest Ball at the castle. After dinner and a few traditional dances, the Altean would be presented with the blooming flower when the moon's reached their highest point." Allura's voice became excited and Pidge could only wonder what the castle had looked like in its peak.

"So how did you turn this place-" Pidge gestured to the stark room, "-into being fit to hold a royal ball."

"Well~" Allura thrilled, looking around to room, "Because of the many delegation parties that would come during this time- it was very important to be invited to the planet for the event. Altea is- well was, during that time, one of the leading countries in political and diplomatic ties. So everything had to be coordinated as such. It would take almost a third of a cycle to get preparations all set. But most of it was done before the second moon had reached alignment."

Pidge's mind wandered as Allura went in on the details of what went into making the preparation of the ball. It sounded like a wonderful time; with ethnic foods, friends, laughter and a lot of interesting traditions. She could almost see the silver light shining in the sky as each flower bloomed with wonderful scents that filled the castle.

Each description and imaginative picture filled Pidge's thoughts with wonder and she couldn't help but laugh along with Allura as the princess tried to explain, with difficulty, the complications of fitting into Altean formal dress. The princess' talk of balls and knights and handmaids sounded like something out of the fantasy books that Pidge-or really, Katie Holt read when she was a child.

'Pidge' had never read such thing or dreamed of such a life. Pidge was the green paladin, the one who worked the hardest to save her father and her brother. Pidge was the defender of the universe who came from Earth; smart, creative, a little nerdy but also the one that the rest could rely on for anything and everything technological.

Lance always loudly boasted that it was the Altean in her that made her so good with the technology. Pidge always proclaimed that anyone else could be as good as her if they just applied themselves, but she couldn't deny that she didn't mind the connotation that went along with Lance's words.

Altean

That was something Pidge had never expected to be in her life.

She always knew she was a bit different. Adopted was different but it wasn't uncommon on Earth and she fit right into the Holt family. Her mom used to joke that she was Matt's long lost twin. No one really ever suspected that she had been from an orphanage and it was always a shock to everyone on 'share and tell' day when she would mention it. No one ever really seemed to believe her anyways, so Katie dropped it and it was fine.

Katie Holt had also been a bit different developmentally when she was baby. She had sat up, rolled over and began walking before anyone else's kid did.

 _'A little protegé.'_ Her father used to say, with a big smile on his face. _'Matt was the exact same way. He barely crawled before he was up, racing around the house!'_

So she was different but that was just a Holt thing, so it was fine.

When Katie turned thirteen, things began to really change. The freckles which had always dusted heavily on her cheeks slowly began to define. She had never really noticed until someone had said something to her at school one day.

_"Did you always have those?" Her classmate asked, turning around at her desk._

_"Have what?" Katie asked, looking up from the top of her book. She had just gotten new glasses and had taken to hiding behind books. It was easier than dealing with the bullies that seemed to plague the middle school hallways._

_"Your birthmark," She continued, pointing at Katie's face, "I don't ever remember seeing them before."_

_Katie's nose scrunched and her hand came up to her face, "I don't have a birthmark."_

_The girl frowned, "Yes you do, right there." Again, she pointed straight at Katie's face and a few of her other classmates began craning their heads to get a look._

_Her expression sullied, "If there is something on my face, you could've just told me." Katie muttered before getting up out of her seat to go to the bathroom._

Staring in the bathroom mirror, Katie had discovered something much different than the jelly stain she had been expecting from the toast she had eaten that morning.

Sickle like marks slowly appeared on not just one cheekbone but on both. Each day they seemed to become more defined no matter how much she scrubbed at them. Katie had taken to researching but had found nothing about the strange shape.

She had ended up begging her mom that Christmas for makeup. They had argued back and forth on the subject of her being too young but by the time the holidays came around, Katie was more than happy to rip off the wrapping paper when she had gotten what she had wanted. It had been too easy to just use a bit of concealer in the morning to cover up the strange marks and forget about it, so it was fine.

But by the time her fourteenth birthday Katie Holt or now Pidge as she disguised herself as, realized just how different she really was.

By then the girls in the locker room had always complained for the last two years one way or another about cramps, tampons and the never ending cycle of popping zits. Pidge complained about her itching ears.

There were a few times that Pidge had woken in the night with the helix of her outer ear itching and burning with a sensation that she couldn't explain. At first she had thought it was a rash until she woke up one morning only to find the 'rash' on her ear had peeled. A new fresh layer of pinky skin revealed that her ears were growing.

It had then that Pidge had realized that everything wasn't fine.

She had been too scared to ever bring it up with her mom and never once had she mentioned the fact that Pidge had never asked or needed her to buy a new box of tampons or a tube of zit cream.

Pidge had always assumed that she was just a late bloomer, it wasn't uncommon and it actually worked in her favor once she had decided to enroll herself into the academy. She had a lot more on her mind than worry about why she wasn't getting any pimples. But itching ears wasn't the only strange thing that Pidge discovered about herself.

Looking back on it, Pidge couldn't help but wonder if her father had known about her. She was supposedly adopted from an orphanage- but what kind of orphanage carried Altean babies? It was another one of the countless questions that Pidge would ask her father once she found him again.

Surprisingly enough, her ears weren't as hard to hide as she had thought it would've been when she first discovered the horrifying sight in the mirror. She had panicked as her fingers felt along her slowly pointing ears. It was easy to let her long hair fall over the tips of her ears as they hid behind her honey colored locks. People never saw what they didn't expect to see.

When she had finally figured it out, telling the rest of the crew- especially Coran and Allura, had been one of the hardest things Pidge had ever done.

Pidge had been worried that the other paladins would treat her differently because she wasn't really human. But everyone, especially Allura and Coran had been very accepting of her which was a relief.

The princess had gathered her up in hug, her eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she gladly and formally welcomed her back to the Altean family.

The paladins were her family, the crew along with Allura and Coran were her family. But to have the princess speak of her as an Altean citizen- it made her freeze.

Pidge was more scared of admitting it to herself. How was she supposed to be an Altean when she didn't know anything about Altea?

How was she supposed to live up to the expectations of a culture that she didn't even really understand.

So she asked, day after day about Altea. And with each answer, it became more and more apparent that the more Pidge asked, the more she was enlightened of how clueless she really was about Altea.

"-when the convergence finally came upon in the late evening, a silver light would beam down and every Altean's mark would glow in harmony." Allura trailed off and finally seemed to catch Pidge's plummeting mood.

A cool hand against her cheek shocked Pidge from her thoughts and the green paladin allowed her chin to be lifted up by the slim fingers. Pidge couldn't bare to lift her eyes though, she was afraid of what she might see. Or what she might do if she caught eyes with the other Altean.

Neither said anything for a long moment.

"I know it's hard, Pidge." Allura spoke, thumbing a finger along Pidge's cheek. "I can't truly understand what you must be feeling it what it is like for you," She stopped briefly over her Altean mark. "-but for what it's worth, you would make for a wonderful champion, my paladin." Allura's voice was soft, and her tone was kind.

The green paladin took a small breath. The Altean princess had been a big help to her in many ways. Both Coran and Allura were very supportive of her, more so than they would probably ever really realize. It was hard for Pidge to try and understand a culture that already felt overwhelming and impossible to understand. But Coran and Allura tried their hardest to make her feel like she could've belonged.

"Y-You think..?" Pidge murmured, swallowing back the heaviness in her chest before lifting her hooded gaze to meet Allura's.

The princess smiled her and her eyes glittered, "As a defender of the universe; you would have a very good chance in the arena, I'm very sure."

Pidge gave a slight nod and Allura turned back to the screen and computed a few more sequences into control screen.

The green paladin back sat against the rails and looked out the window into space. Pidge couldn't help but move her fingers up against her cheeks where Allura's hand had been and was surprised to feel a dampness.

Wiping any tracks of tears away, Pidge took a small breath to steady her breathing.

"What was Earth like?"

It was Allura who had broken the comfortable silence between them. Pidge looked over in surprise, "You want to know about Earth?" She asked, her brow raised.

"I have five paladins on board who are all steeped with Earth's culture." Allura stated, swiveling around in her chair. "Of course I would like to know." The princess paused for a small moment and Pidge could see her lips curve into a small smile. "That is, of course, if you're willing to share."

Pidge felt something warm bloom in her chest and gears began to turn in her mind. After a pause and then two, she spoke, "Have I ever told you about snow?"


	2. Misplaced

Mis·placed

/misˈplāst/

adjective

adjective: misplaced

positioned.

not appropriate or correct in the circumstances

2\. temporarily lost.

synonyms: lost, mislaid, missing

It was normal for people to have different tastes and interests. Some people were dog people and some people were cat people. Some people listened to heavy music and others listened to the soft twang of country.

There were tall people, short people, pale people and freckled people, everyone was unique in their own special way. Because in the end, no matter what you looked like or what your tastes were- people had one thing in common, they were all human

But not Pidge.

Looking in the mirror, carefully examining the marks that she was so unused to displaying in public, Pidge could only really have one thought.

What was she?

Was she a human in an Altean body or an Altean with a human mind?

Because when it came to things like whether or not she was human- there was no in the middle.

And as much as Coran or Shiro told her that she was, ‘The bridge between Alteans and humanity.’ She wasn't.

Bridges connected things, bridges brought people together and yet here she was; stuck in the middle, out of place as she couldn't seem to find a place to call home.

On Earth she had been slightly out of place, a bit of a nerd as many of her classmates called her. It was true in a way. Pidge was too focused, too serious on finding her brother and her father to do the things that everyone else her age wanted to do. The only makeup Pidge had ever used was concealer and even then, it didn't do much to help her plain face- not that she really tried all that much or felt the need to. Pidge never understood how these girls found the need to plaster cosmetics all over their skin. To her it was a waste of time, but when society accepted doe eyed, over compensating females as the norm- that made her a bit misplaced.

One would think that being an alien, being part of an entire other culture would give her a second chance at fitting in somewhere- not Pidge.

Pidge was stuck in the middle. In the middle where she didn't belong anywhere. She was once again misplaced.

It was hard. When Pidge looked at each of the other paladins, she just wasn't sure if she belonged anymore. And how could she?

Pidge had always assumed she was just a little more unique than everyone else. Her ears were a little more pointed, her freckles may have been just a little more dense. But she had been human, banded together with Hunk and Lance of the common uniqueness of being the best and the brightest the academy had to offer.

And it wasn't really the fact that she wasn't human, it more had to do with that she wasn't really Altean either. If she could barely accept and understand her own body and mind then how could anyone else?

Keith was different. He may have been part Galra but it wasn't as if he had the purple skin and dark eyes to match. His humanity engulfed that side of him and blended it perfectly into who he was. Shiro was the same way, his entire arm was clearly Galra and yet it was such a defining feature of his. He wouldn't be Shiro without it. Anyone else might consider having an alien appendage a shame or at least an eyesore and yet Shiro held his head up with pride.

But Pidge wasn't like them. Pidge wasn't a leader, not like they were. She knew in her head that it was on the inside that counted. She could repeat the same heartfelt phrases that every grade school teacher pounded into their second graders on naming friends but when you could see and feel your body changing right out from under you- it was scary. And it made Pidge doubt everything she ever thought she knew about herself.

Pidge at any moment didn't know what could happen to her next. What it her hair started growing? What if her eyes started to glow or her density changed and she began to float?

Shiro and Keith had gone through experiences that made them even more human despite the alien DNA. Pidge's experiences only seemed to make her feel more and more like an alien looking in.

It had been a whirl of events and emotions when Pidge had found herself suddenly staring at a species that looked more like her than the other paladins did.

When she had first seen Allura and Coran in the crypto chambers she hadn't even noticed the similarities. It hadn't been until a week later when they were sitting in the dining hall that Pidge had really realized just how similar.

On the surface level they looked completely different. Silver hair, fancy clothing, strange mannerisms and accents. Nothing like Pidge at all. That was until she had taken a keen notice to Allura's face.

The princess had been staring over a grouping of atlas'. Her and Shiro had been mapping out the best route to take to the next planet when Pidge had really taken a notice to of Allura's ears. It wasn't the pointiness that had caught Pidge's attention- the princess' ears were a lot more sharp than hers, but it had been the curve of the helix that had really startled her.

Pidge was a scientist at heart so of course any and all experiments she ran on her own DNA and biology were thoroughly mapped out and kept track of. She had been carefully keeping notes of the steady change in the curvage of her ears and had projected a conclusion of how the curvage of her ear would finally finish growing. It hadn't been that hard to map out the general curvage she gained per year ever since puberty had hit. Looking at where she was and the final result of how pointed her ears would be by the time she was fully developed… The math all added up until Pidge finally couldn't deny the Altean in her DNA anymore.

Altean wasn't a change for her. Biological she had always been Altean. It was an acknowledgment that she was alien that made it real. It was having to not only admit it out loud but admit it to herself and accept that everything she had been denying and hiding away from others was real.

Suddenly she wasn't sure what applied to her anymore. Surely she could understand Earth references, but did they really represent who she was anymore?

Each joke and jab Hunk and Lance laughed between the group of paladins over the strangeness of the alien cultures suddenly felt strained and not funny to Pidge.

Her genius and accomplishment in her own advancements in technology suddenly wasn't her own skill but the Altean blood coursing through her veins. Her inquisitive mind for Coran's job and the ship was not an intrigued human but the duty of a lost Altean trying to discover her roots- at least that's how it seemed to everyone else.

All of her accomplishments and blunders seemed to come from whatever Altean genes were running through her. Even her ignorance on a certain subject was blamed for not having been brought up as an Altean.

But that wasn't true. Pidge was the same as she had always been. She'd always been Altean and yet she was just as human in mind and soul as the rest of the crew. She was scared that none of the paladins saw that anymore.

Pidge stared once again into the mirror, looking at the marks that weighed heavily against her cheeks. Running a finger carefully over the top of her left ear, Pidge reached out and pulled a little container out of medicine cabinet and stared at the small bottle of concealer.

So today, like every other day, Pidge had to decide whether or not she wanted to be human or if she wanted to be Altean. To her, there didn't seem to be a middle, just another place to be misplaced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! Don’t forget to comment requests for chapter ideas!


	3. Freckles

_"I don't like'em, momma." Katie spoke, scrunching her nose as she went cross eyed to stare at the little brown dots that were swaying in and out of her vision._

_"Don't like what, sweetheart?" Mrs. Holt asked, looking over from where she was slathering strawberry jelly on her daughter's soon to be peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch._

_"Freckles." Katie distastefully murmured, rubbing her grubby hands over the bridge of her nose and chubby cheeks._

_"What's wrong with your freckles?" Her mom hummed, setting down the knife after she had carefully cut the crusts off the sandwich. Maneuvering herself, Katie carefully climbed up into the top big chair and leaned up so she could fully reach the table._

_"Michael Myers says they makes me look splotchy and I don' 'preciate it." Kaite muttered, her cheeks puffing out in a scowl before her chin fell to rest in the palm of her hand._

_"Well Michael Myers doesn't know what he's talking about. You look beautiful with all of those wonderful little stars splashed across your cheeks." The sandwich was set in front of her and Katie quickly picked up a triangular piece and took a big bite._

_"Stw-ars?" Katie asked, her voice thick as the rich peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth. She swallowed and reached out to grasp the cup of juice that was accompanied with her sandwich."Is that what freckles are?"_

_"Why of course!" Her mom’s eyes rose in feigned astonishment and a smile came to her face. "Don't you know where freckles come from?"_

_"...No?" Katie hesitantly spoke, suspicious as she had never heard of such a thing. But the idea intrigued her. She had always loved stars and space._

_"Freckles aren't just little dots, Katie." Her mom began, crouching down on the back of her heels so she could be eye level with Katie, "Sometimes, right when we're, the stars look down over and see a little baby so beautiful, so special that they wanna be a part of them. That's why many people have a freckle here-" Mrs Holt poked Katie's arm, "-and a freckle there," Another poke into Katie's side gave way to a burst of giggles before the little girl leaned over to protect herself from anymore tickle attacks._

_"Each freckle is unique, just like the stars, just like the people who the stars go to." Katie's eyes didn't move from her mom's and she felt a hand reach down to cup her cheek, "But you, you have an entire galaxy wrapped around you. From your beautiful eyes," A pair of eyes met her own and a warm feeling went through Katie , "-to your cute button nose," Katie went cross eyed as a finger tapped on the edge of her nose. "And your beautiful personality. You see, the stars don't just see the outside, they see the inside too. Do you know how many stars are in a galaxy?"_

_"Matt says there are a trillion, billion, million!" Katie spoke with pride coloring her voice, Matt was in second grade and obviously, he knew everything._

_"Even more than that Katie, so many that you can't even count them all." Her momma’s voice was hushed and Katie's eyes went wide in wonder and awe. "And each one of those stars saw you as special." Her mom wrapped her arms around her and Katie leaned into the touch, "Does Michael Myers have any freckles?"_

_"No." Katie shook her head and her mom quiet humming filled the kitchen._

_"So how would he know how special the stars were if he doesn't have any?" A warm pair of lips was pressed against Katie's cheek and she smiled, "You're a little space cadet, just like dad says. You got a whole galaxy inside of you."_

It was ironic that years later she would discover that her mom was more right. Her freckles were from the stars, more so than anyone could've possibly realized. Sometimes, Pidge wondered why she hadn't asked her mom about her freckles again, years later when she had the chance.

"Did you always have that?"

Katie looked up from her book she was reading as she found herself looking eye to eye with Julie Altman. She wasn't the prettiest girl in school but she was kind, fresh faced and had a very outgoing personality that made her very popular with almost everyone at school.

Katie though had always been a little more reserved, she wouldn't say shy but she definitely didn't like a lot of attention to be cast on her. So it was to her dismay that at the beginning of the year, Julie Altman had decided that she was going to take it upon herself to do the public service of somehow "pulling Katie out of herself" or whatever other nonsense she had pulled from the guru self help book that she must've read over the summer before school _._

So Katie had been getting a lot of attention on her as of late. She found herself constantly being pulled into Julie's antics and as much as she appreciated the girl's gesture, what that gesture was Katie didn't know, she would've preferred if the girl could just leave her bed.

"Have what?" Katie asked, looking up from the top of her book. She had just new glasses and had taken to hiding behind books. It was easier than dealing with the bullies that seemed to plague the middle school hallways. And the last thing she needed was even more attention on her now that Julie had spotted them.

"Your birthmark," She continued, pointing at Katie's face, "I don't ever remember seeing them before."

Now that was a surprise, she had been expecting Julie to point out her glasses. Katie's nose scrunched and her hand came up to her face, "I don't have a birthmark."

Julia frowned, "Yes you do, right there." Again, she pointed straight at Katie's face and a few of her other classmates began craning their heads to get a look.

_'It wasn't enough that you have to decide if my clothing is acceptable enough for you but now my own face?'_ Katie grumbled to herself yet nothing she said was audible enough for anyone to catch. She would know if she had a birthmark, it was her face! Katie's expression sullied, "If there is something on my face, you could've just told me." She muttered before getting up out of her seat to go to the bathroom.

Walking quickly down the hallway, she kept her head down so the other students passing couldn't get a look at the condiment that she had managed to smear all over her face. Katie had been in a rush this morning and hadn't really taken much time to glance at herself in the mirror before catching the bus. She wouldn't be surprised if she had managed to get something on her face.

Pushing into the door, Katie walked up to the bathroom mirrors and examined her face. Her brow narrowed when she finally spotted what Julie had been referring to. Katie was wrong in the fact that it wasn't a jelly stain. She could actually see where the other girl might even assume it was a birthmark. Sitting high on her cheek bone was a strange dark mark. It was fixed right under a concentrated area of freckles and honestly wouldn't have been noticeable unless it was looked at in a certain light.

Wetting a paper towel, Katie carefully scrubbed at the dark splotch and to her surprise nothing came off on the paper towel. Squeezing out the excess water, Katie pulled at the skin and scrubbed harder. The only change that came about was the surrounding skin turned pink and angry, making the mark stand out just a little more.

_'Maybe it's a bruise?'_ Katie wondered, carefully touching the skin again. She would've assumed that if it hadn't been for the slight strangeness in color. The splotchy area didn't look dark like a bruise per say- just different.

The bell rang for class and Katie shrugged her shoulders before throwing away the paper towel. It really wasn't that noticeable and really it could've been from the couple days that she had spent in the sun on the weekend. She usually got more freckles with the good weather so Katie wouldn't be surprised if that in the next couple days she got a few new freckles to match the discolored area. It would go away on its own.

* * *

“Have you always had those marks Katie?"

It had been the third time in the last two weeks that Katie had been asked that question and she was tired of trying to come up with an answer.

After Julie Altman had pointed out the discoloration on her cheeks two months ago, Katie had taken to watching it and was alarmed to realize that it was growing.

Where the freckles had been, it seemed to be that they had clustered together to an even bigger patch. At first she had been terrified of skin cancer but a little bit of research and a couple careful questions to her mom had calmed her worries. Whatever it was, it wasn't skin cancer.

Katie's second, more educated assumption after she had calmed down of course- had been some sort of melanoma disorder that caused the pigment in her skin to change color. But even that was thrown out the window with a bit of extended research. The first problem was almost all skin conditions of such a type affected a bunch of different areas of your skin. She did not have any such symptoms. It helped eliminate a lot of frightening diseases from the possibilities but it didn’t really ease her mind. Most of rarer skin diseases were genetic and usually showed up at an early stage in life, so this threw out a whole other group of diseases which left her grasping at the few strange ones left. But even with all her research and her science, one simple fact threw her into a tizzy of confusion and slight horror. There was not a single skin condition she could find that turned one's cheeks blue.

Not like her's did and not in the place where it was. Her skin discoloration was in such a controlled area that Katie could almost begin to see a where a defined edge could appear on her left cheek. Her right cheek was still coming in, slowly but surely at a slight slower pace than her other cheek. The hue was darker that her left and the area was blotchy and irritated looking, though Katie herself hadn't ever experienced any discomfort.

Throughout the rest of her seventh grade year, Katie had kept a careful eye on the strange markings. After the first day of scrubbing it with almost every single substance known to man, Katie finally concluded it was definitely coming from below the skin and not above it.

Seborrheic Keratosis, vitiligo, acanthosis nigricans, gangrene, bad circulation… The list went on and on and yet each one was crossed out on Katie's long list of medical conditions and disease that she had spent hours holed up in her room researching.

She never did end up telling her mom about it. The subject wasn't something Katie had ever really found the chance to even approach. It was just too hard. By that time, Matt and dad were gone. Smiles were a bit too forced and Katie could never escape from the tiredness that seemed to envelop the house. Katie's mom had really never recovered from that day. The sun just didn't seem as bright and long gone were the days that Katie really felt that she could just allow herself to walk and talk like the life hadn't been sucked out from them. It just didn't feel right to try and even pretend that they could go back to old times. Something had changed in her mom that day and Katie couldn't say that she wasn't the same.

She supposed that was the reason why she really left in the first place. There was something inside her, a fire within that just knew that her brother and her dad were still out there somewhere and she felt that she not only owed it to them, but to her mom and herself to go searching for the truth. So when Katie had packed up and left to go to the prestigious school that "she" got accepted into, there were no real regrets about leaving. Her mission wasn't just for her, it was for her family. Her mom had been decidedly neutral on the subject. Tight lipped and with more gray hairs and wrinkles than she should've had that day, she pulled Katie into a desperate hug before allowing her to walk through that door, neither of them realizing that that would be the last time that they would get to see each other for a very long time…

_'Nope, skin hadn't changed texture, no strange bumps, no, no...'_ Pidge balled up the crinkled paper and threw it carelessly towards the trashcan, cheering half heartedly as it somehow managed to hit the wall and roll in.

Lifting her hand up, Pidge's finger's hovered over the carefully concealed mark and she hesitated for a moment before sighing loudly. Closing the screen of her laptop, Pidge set the screen off to the side and fell back against her twin sized cot. Her blankets and pillows enclosed around her bed and Pidge felt the bed springs squeak under her as the bed frame slightly shook from the movement. She's spent a year looking and yet she felt she was another million years away from ever finding an answer.

Looking up at the the ceiling, Pidge's eyes glazed over as her mind followed the star pattern that was etched into the ceiling. Her roommate, Hunk, had put them up in an attempt to make the place seem a bit more homey. Pidge hadn't protested at the gesture and had actually really liked the look of it once they had been put up. Technically, anything like that wasn't allowed at the academy but Hunk had some initiate to make the decor much more subtle than Pidge would've thought possible. Looking straight into the room, no one would ever be able to see it. But laying back, especially with low lighting, you could really see the change it made to the room

As Pidge's mind traced the star lit ceiling and her mind fell back to the impossible mystery that she had been struggling for years to solve, a small thought nudged in the back of her mind.

She remembered a story, a story about freckles, stars and impossibilities. Staring intensely at the ceiling, Pidge looked down at the few freckles on her arms and pondered on it for a long moment.

The two mysteries in her life, the two impossible things in her life had one thing in common and somehow to Pidge, that didn't seem like coincidence.

Opening up her laptop, Pidge's face was bathed in the artificial light. Creating a new file folder, Pidge pulled up her search bar and hesitated for a moment before typing in three works:

[ _Mysteries_ _of the stars_ ]

Scrolling through her search engine, Pidge scrutinized every shred of evidence she could find. If Matt and her dad were among the stars, then maybe all the other answers she needed could be found there as well.

 


	4. Unbearable Itch Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge has some trouble with her ears

It had only taken a scant few seconds for Pidge to realize exactly what was going on. It was 2:38 in the morning and Pidge couldn't satisfy the itch from her ears. Sitting in the hanger, her nails dug into her skin but no matter what she did, there was barely a few minutes of relief before it a familiar pain burned her ears and the cycle started all over again.

It had been one of those nights where Pidge really hadn't bothered looking at the time. That happened a lot, especially when she got herself involved in a new project. She had known it was coming, it was like a third sense. There weren’t really any visible signs but it was almost as if she was uncomfortable in her own skin.

Running a finger along the inside of her ear, she could feel the bumps of where the skin was beginning to bubble and would eventually peel and flake.

Pidge hated it, she hated this more than anything in the world- she would rather bleed a river, deal with whatever human females dealt with than suffer this unbearable itch.

It had kept her up all through the night and Pidge hadn't even bothered trying to go back to her room. She already was up late and it would've been impossible. Instead, she worked on a few set up upgrades that she was trying to install in her helmet. There wouldn't be a point of even trying to sleep and Pidge knew that from experience.

Staring at her reflection in the visor, the bags under her eyes were stained black and blue from lack of sleep. Twice Pidge had dealt with this and each time her ears had grown a little under a centimeter in height.

Her ears were angry and red and she couldn't help but cover over them with her hands. Her cheeks were flushed and she hated the way her marks began to throb. It was embarrassing and she wanted it to go away.

"Pidge? Pidge, are you down here?!"

The paladin in question turned at the voice and her eyes went wide as the door to the hangar opened with a quiet hiss. There was no way in the world that she was going to let anyone see her shedding skin like some sort of snake.

Holding her hands over her ears, Pidge dropped to the floor behind the work table and looked desperately around the open hangar for anything that could possibly hide her ears.

The first time this had happened had been the scariest, Pidge had spent the duration of the time hiding in her room. It was easy to just lock the door and ignore her mom's hesitant knocks on the door.

The second time Pidge had been in the academy. Her hair was a big more curly and it had been a little easier to hide it. She had basically haunted the empty bathroom on the second floor. There had been a few unkind nicknames that had come out of that ordeal but she supposed being referred to as "Pigeon Pooper" was much better than the alternative option of allowing herself to be revealed to her classmates.

But now she didn't even have the chance to hide. There wasn't any place she could really stow away for a few hours at a time to try and deal with it.

"Pidge! Shiro wants everyone to meet upstairs-" Lance's voice echoed across the room and she could hear his footsteps coming right alongside the table. In her panic, she did the first and only thing that could come to her mind. "...what happened to your helmet?" Lance asked, leaning down to poke Pidge's visor.

"I'm uh... calibrating it? Yeah, calibrating it." She spoke, stuttering the words out as she’s swatted Lance's hand away. Her nimble fingers rose to the helmet,  adjusting it slightly so her ears wouldn't rest so heavily against the sides of it. "I'm doing some repair work and I'm trying to test out some new upgrades for it." Technically she wasn’t lying, she was in fact working on some new upgrades. It just happened to be that they weren't anywhere near the testing stage yet. You couldn't really test out a helmet when there were broken wires poking out the top- not that Lance needed to know that. 

"What are you trying to do with it anyways?" He asked, pointing to the bright electronics. 

"My helmet? Well uh…" Pidge distractedly stuck a hand up the back of her helmet and tried to alleviate the itch that was beginning to spread down her neck. "I've been itching to no- scratching, no! I mean…" Pidge hissed slightly at the pain on her ears and another hand went up her helmet to get to the left ear. "I've been wanting to mix the headset and maybe some work with some sort of combative automating system."

"Huh. Well I'm sure Shiro wouldn't mind if you wanted to test out your new helmet thing." If Lance noticed anything amiss he didn't show it.

"Test it out?!" She sputtered. She wasn't even close to being able to test it out and already she was beginning to sweat. She was sure her cheeks were flushed red and her ears were beginning to throb with a familiar sting as they chaffed up against the side of the helmet. Just running would chaff her ears, doing any sort of training with it would be horrible. Clearing her throat, Pidge's lips strained into a semblance of a smile, "You said that Shiro wants us?" She hesitantly asked, moving out of the way from Lance's curious hands. Every time a wire was touched the sound system would crackle loudly in her ear.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." Lance snapped his fingers, "Shiro said that Allura and Coran got a new set up on the training deck and he wanted everyone there so we could test it out."

"Are we training with our lions or with individual combat?" The green paladin asked, internally groaning at the thought. Of course today of all days had to be the one where Shiro decided on trying it a new training exercise. Her tired body already ached with the thought. Whenever Allura and Shiro got together to plan something… it was brutal.

"I'm not sure." Lance shrugged, turning around as they both walked through the hangar, "But I know is that Allura was pretty excited about it."

* * *

"Okay, this is way less fun than you described, Allura!" Hunk bellowed, blocking a kick from a combatant before jumping back.

"Do they ever stop attacking!" Lance squawked, throwing himself to the side as a pair of automatons went after him, "I think these ones are targeting me!" Lance ducked under a swing and Pidge found herself back to back with him. "Why won't my vest change color for once when I want it to!"

Pidge sidestepped a blow and dragged Lance to the side. A fist barely grazed past the edge of her vision and the green paladin barely held back a shriek of fright.

It was her luck that not only had it been individual combat but Allura had decided to make it "fun" by turning the training deck into some sort of battle royale style arena.

Each of them were fitted with carefully crafted vests which Coran had cheerfully told them had been part of an Altean training gear set that had once been used for training children. No one was sure if it was insulting or not to be fitted with the same stuff that kids used but no one had time to make any comments or complaints after Allura had released the combat holograms.

Their vests lit up with a particular color, either red or blue, and each "team" would try and knock each other out of the ring that encircled the room. It sounded easy enough until they had discovered that their vests could change color making a previous ally an enemy.

Of course that meant kicks from behind were fairly frequent. Pidge had already taken a few nasty blows and her ears were ringing. She was thankful for the helmet for the fact that it covered most of her face. No one could see how much she was hating this.

She could feel the sweat clinging to her skin and her ears were humming with an angry throb. It felt like little heartbeats were pulsing against the inside of the helmet.

There was so much chaos going on around her, too many combatants to keep track of and Pidge was constantly trying to duck away from them all. The biggest problem was her field of vision. Her helmet partially blocked her view and she could only do so much to stop the inside of the helmet from jarring her sensitive skin. Each small kick of exertive force against only made her ears itch even worse. It was distracting and she was having a hard time keeping up with everyone with else.

The green paladin took a sharp breath in as Shiro jumped in front just in time to block an oncoming assault. His vest was bright red and Pidge realized that her's had changed colors once again.

"Pidge! Get your head in the game!" Shiro barked, moving forward as Hunk bear armed a combatant. Moving back, Pidge grunted as a hologram came up from behind. Blow after blow was rained down against her raised arms and she was forced back a few feet right into an unsuspecting Keith.

"Pidge, watch out!"

Whipping her head around, Pidge instinctively stumbled back away from the blinding kick that was sent her way. The edge of Keith's heel scraped the side of her helmet.

An earsplitting screech if static pierced her ears. Pidge had never felt her skin burn so badly. It felt like someone had taken the edge of a razor and raked it across the edge of her ears. She stumbled back and her eyes squeezed shut from the sudden overload on her senses. She could hardly breathe. 

Pidge instinctively clutched the sides of the helmet, entangling her hands in the sharp, exposed wires and she lost her balance. There was a loud crunch of metal and her head bounced sharply off the inside of her helmet as her body slammed into the floor.

Groaning, she laid there for a moment while the white tiled floor woozed in and out of focus. She winced with every move of her hand and she slowly tried to untangle her fingers from the sensitive wires. Each twist crackled and popped as electricity sparked from the wiring. It didn’t help her aching eardrums very much.

Pidge carefully stuck a hand up under her helmet and scratched furiously at her ear. Her stomach dropped when she could feel something warm and wet coating underneath her fingernails.

"Pidge! Pidge are you alright?!"

"Keith! You friggin kicked Pidge in the face!" Lance sputtered, spinning on his heel, "This is a training exercise! You're not supposed to kill her!"

"I didn't mean to!" Keith rushed, his mouth dropping open slightly in horror, "She was just suddenly there!"

"You're lucky she was wearing a helmet!" Lance spat, "What does this look like?! 'Kill your teammate day'?!"

"I said I didn't mean to!"

Wiping the edges of her fingers against her shirt, the green paladin took the offered hand and allowed Hunk to pull her to her feet.

Shiro and Hunk surrounded her and Allura and Coran were both rushing across the room from the observatory deck.

"You don't think she has a concussion do you, Shiro?" Hunk asked, steadying Pidge her feet.

The green paladin closed her eyes. "I'm fine, Hunk." Pidge grounded out, "Just give me a second, I just need the room to stop spinning."

Pidge could feel the blood rushing to her face and her head throbbed with the onsetting headache. Her helmet rattled around her head and she didn't even want to see what the electronics looked like.

"-smart! Kicking a girl in the face-"

"I told you, she just came in my field of vision-"

"You think that makes it okay?!"

"Boys, now is not the time." Shiro warned, sending a pointed look in their direction.

Sticking a hand up her helmet again, Pidge grimaced at the hot stickiness that coated the back of her ears. She was sure a couple of those blisters had popped, she could feel them leaking out.

"My stars! Pidge, are you alright?!"

Two pairs of footsteps echoed across the floor as both Allura and Coran raced across the room. They had come rushing from the observation deck the moment they saw her go down.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Pidge reassured, she was still in a daze and it was hard for her to get her balance. The world woozed in and out of focus and she finally rested on Keith who was still arguing with Lance. "I know you didn't mean to, it's fine- it was a nice kick…"

"Here, let me take a look," Coran spoke, rummaging around in his pockets, "A healing crystal should be able to-"

"I'm fine Coran, I don't need a healing crystal." Pidge muttered, holding her hands over the top of her helmet to reassure that she hadn't in fact taken it off, "It's just a slight bruise. Keith really only just grazed me."

"Are you sure Pidge?" Keith asked, frowning. She could clearly see concern and guilt in his eyes as he stared her down. "I really thought I-"

"Ah! Here it is!" Coran spoke, holding out the purple quartz in his hands. "It'll take only a minute to heat up. Back when I was training for the royal guard, every cadet had an entire stash hidden on them. They're fast, easy to use and-"

Pidge gritted her teeth and looked between everyone's concerned faces. Her ears were burning and the back of her neck was pooling with sweat. Her hands pressed tighter against the top of her helmet and her headache intensified. She was getting increasingly uncomfortable with the people surrounding her.

"I really think she might have a concussion, Shiro." Hunk murmured, "Though I don't really have any clue how that would affect Altean biology."

"Isn't ice a universal help?" Lance suggested, crossing his arms over his chest, "That's what my mom always used whenever we got bumped in the head."

"There is a big difference between falling and getting kicked so hard you're thrown to the floor." Shiro murmured, leaning forward to stare into Pidge's eyes through the tint I’m the visor. The green paladin froze under Shiro's sudden intense look, "Princess, are her pupils' dilated? I don't know the correlation in Altean biology but when a human-"

Pidge backed up, "Guys! I'm fine! My head doesn't even hurt." She lied, grimacing slightly at the splitting head ache. "I don't have a concussion! Let's just get back to training." It was clear no one was really taking her words into consideration.

"The best way to tell for any injury-" Allura startled Pidge as she suddenly invaded her personal space. The green paladin's eyes widened as two hands reached out for the edge of her helmet, "-is to actually look at it."

"N-No way!" Pidge yelped, stumbling back away from the crowd that had surrounded her, "The helmet stays on!" The others seemed at a loss for words and she could see varying degrees of surprise and suspicion on everyone's faces. "Thanks for the concern, really." Pidge rushed, pulling down the edges of her helmet, "But I have really really bad helmet hair." She spoke, forcing a disarming smile on her face. It felt stiff, even to her and eyes were beginning to water as her ears burned. "It would ruin my tests to take off the helmet now. All my data would be lost." Her fingers twitched as the itching was beginning to become unbearable, "I think I'm just going to go process all the uh… helpful data. We're done for today, right Shiro?"

"I suppose…" Shiro spoke, though clearly was at a loss for words at her reaction.

"Great!" The word spit from her mouth and she avoided Hunk's worried gaze. Pidge stumbled back towards the door, "Well, I have a lot of data technology stuff to process so I'll be down in the hangar… hard at work- and super busy-" She knew she was rambling at this point. "I'll try and make it to dinner, maybe."

Pidge was gone before anyone else could get a word out.

"What just happened?" Lance asked, staring at the empty doorway.

"Does anyone else need a healing crystal?" Coran asked, holding out a handful of small quartz'. "I've already cracked a few of these, so they should be used now for the best effect."

"I'll take one." Hunk spoke, grabbing one from Coran's open palm, "Lance look at this! They're just like glow sticks!"

Keith grabbed one and cracked his the same as Hunk. Light blossomed from the crystal and his hands were basked with a glow. "Huh. These are pretty cool."

"So are we done training… or?" Lance asked, gesturing to the rest of the training room.

"We're done for today." Shiro finalized, frowning slightly at his own words, "Lance, Keith, Hunk-" The boys' spines straightened at his tone and both Keith and Hunk paused in their examinations of the crystals. "Coran will tell you what to do with your equipment, I expect this room to be put back to how it had been at the beginning of the day." With his last words, Shiro purposefully strided towards the exit. An arm looped around and locked the crook of his elbow into place, stopping Shiro in his tracks.

"Coran," Allura spoke, her grip was surprisingly strong on Shiro's arm. "Do you mind if I borrow a few of those?"

"Why of course, Princess." Coran held his hand out to her and Allura chose two from his collection. She examined them or a moment, holding them up above her head in the light, before sticking them in the small pockets of her suit.

"Princess," Shiro rose a brow, "I don't understa-"

"Shiro, you and the other paladins wouldn't mind helping Coran with a problem in the engine room would you?" Allies asked, cutting the black paladin off. Her voice was calm and collected despite the ever tightening grip on Shiro's arm. "There are some pipes that could be inspected for some discrepancies that come with age and Coran can't possibly lift them by himself."

"Princess?" Coran asked, "Are you sure that you want that done now? It will take at least two hours to get them down and cleaned let alone -"

"This is of utmost importance, Coran." Allura stressed, her big eyes flashing, "I'm sure the big, strong boys would be happy to help. Her serene expression never changed but there was something about her tone that made Coran immediately stop right in his questioning. With a quick nod he turned and faced the other paladins.

"Come along! This won't take long with all of us working at it!" Coran nodded his head and put the remaining crystals in his pocket, "Have any of you worked in the engine room besides Pidge?"

Keith and Lance shook their head while Hunk raised his hand up slightly, "A little… But I don't think I've done anything with the pipes before."

"Excellent!" Coran spun on his heel and went in the the other direction towards the hallways. "It really is good for you all to know at least a little of how the castle works. While we walk to the engine room, I'll give you a little tour, then. I’m a bit of an expert. After all, the castle was originally built by my great, great, great-"

"It would be best if you stayed with the boys," Shiro stilled as Allura's lips were a hairbreadth away from his ear. "Don't worry, I'm going to take care of it." Her words were soft, quick and had his full attention. He opened his mouth to protest but was once again stopped in his tracks, "Please, Shiro…"

"-great, great, great, great-"

Shiro pulled back and looked at Allura for a brief moment before looking back at the boys. He took a small breath and carefully slipped out of the princess's grip.

"-grandfather." Coran finished, proudly standing in front of the boys.

Hunk let out a long whistle, "That's a lot of grandfathers."

"Well if we're going to keep the castle running after that many generations, then I'd say we've got a lot of work to do." Shiro interceded, stepping up to join the other three boys who were standing in front of Coran. He looked back at Allura who carefully nodded to him in silent thanks.

Shiro followed Coran's lead, trailing behind the other three. He turned his head one last time and watched as the princess slipped away through the opposing doors where Pidge had disappeared through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is crossposted I’m ff.net. I’m tranferring the chapters I have over and then I’ll start on requests. I really appreciate reviewers. I haven’t worked on this fic in a long time and I’m finally finding the energy.


	5. The Unbearable Itch Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge has some trouble with her ears

The first thing Pidge did when she got to the hangar was throw her helmet off. She didn't care that the electronics bounced off the floor, wrecking the last of any work she had done on the helmet. The helmet skidded across the floor and disappeared behind her work bench. Her ears burned and the skin itched like crazy. The chaffing had made it insufferable. Pidge's hands ran down her face and she could barely stand the thought of her friends.

Training had been a disaster.

Over and over the concerned faces of the other paladins burned in her mind. Pidge's eyes squeezed and she desperately tried to banish the images and the tears away. It had been so embarrassing and humiliating to have everyone treating her like glass.

She hated it. She hated feeling like she was weak and not in control of herself. The worst part was that she wasn't even strong enough to stop crying. Pidge wiped at the tears that were beginning to fall and her it was becoming painful to swallow. _'I can't let anyone see me like this…'_

She was so worked up, so agitated that in that moment, Pidge could only think of one thing to do.

It had been too easy to just let her lion envelop her. Climbing up into the green lion, Pidge found a bit of comfort sitting in the pilot's seat as she couldn't help but cry her eyes out.

Her head ached, her ears burned, itched and all around Pidge felt absolutely miserable. The dark of the cockpit was interrupted by the hot, flashing glow of her marks. Pidge was frustrated and scared and she could barely stand to do anything other then furiously scratch at her already marred skin. Never had it been this bad. She didn't even know what it meant when her marks glowed like this.

 _'Stupid ears, stupid marks…'_ Pidge bitterly thought, wiping her nose against the sleeve of her shirt. Her legs were curled up against her and her head dropping down against her knees. "This blows," Pidge muttered. Her marks throbbed and another lift pink glow flashed out.

"Pidge, dear… Are you down here?"

The pilot's screen came to life and Pidge eyes flickered up and she watched Allura's figure come to life. She scowled and dropped her hands into her lap. Pidge didn't want to see Allura, she didn't want to see anyone.

Sniffing back her running nose, Pidge watched the princess walk around her work table. Her foot kicked into the discarded helmet and Allura paused for a moment before she bent down. Picking up the helmet, a hand carefully inspected the broken wires.

Allura stood there for the longest moment, there was an unreadable expression on her face before she finally set the helmet down. Her fingers ran gently over the edge of the work table before the Altean finally came to rest against it.

"The itch, it's almost unbearable isn't it?" Allura spoke. Her gaze lifted up and Pidge's heart almost seemed to stop as her eyes stared right into hers. She knew Allura couldn't see her and yet somehow she was sure the Altean knew she was there. "The itching, burning and horrible pressure that just builds up under the skin and makes you feel like your head's about to explode."

 _'How'd she know?'_ Pidge's eyes were glued to the screen. She couldn't help but bring her hands up to her marks.

"I understand if you feel that the best thing to do is hide yourself away. I know how painful and scary it can be." Allura continued, her hand reached up and she gently curved a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hair was still gathered in a bun and Pidge's own skin couldn't help but ache as she caught a glance of Allura's ears.

She could feel her lion rumbling beneath her and the green paladin scowled, "No, I'm not going out there." Pidge muttered, dropping her head to rest in her arms. "I don't wanna see anyone…"

"You don't need to hide anymore, you don't need to be scared-"

A part of her felt sick. How could she not be scared?! She didn't even understand who she was, let alone what was going on with her.

Allura pushed off the table and walked up towards the lion. Taking a small breath her eyes seemed to beg into the camera. "Each ache, each bump and red rash is-"

Pidge squeezed her eyes shut and covered her ears. She didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to hear how deformed and wrong it was. She didn't want to hear how ugly and mistreated her skin was.

"-completely natural." The princess finished, looking up at the green lion with a knowing smile on her face. Pidge stilled and the oxygen left the cockpit.

Pidge could hardly stand to look at the screen anymore. She didn't want to look at Allura, she didn't want to hear her words. Why was she like this? Why was she so, so-

"Weak." Pidge hissed, her head dropping into her hands. She was a paladin of Voltron and yet she was letting something like this get to her. She didn't want to believe Allura and yet a part of her seemed to relax despite her misgivings. Her ear twitched and Pidge furious scratched at it. "It doesn't feel natural." The green paladin muttered again, wincing as the skin burned under her fingernails.

"Altean females are a special," The princess' voice was soft and spoke as if she was having a normal conversation with Pidge right next to her and not a giant machine, "Strong, brave and kind hearted-" She paused for a moment, "...There are so many friends I wish you could've met. They would've loved you just as much as I do…" Allura trailed off and her hands clasped in front of her, "But there are a few things that come with the territory of being who you are and that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is no weakness in being exactly who you were made to be."

Taking a small breath, the princess leaned back and allowed herself to slide down against a large leg of the green lion. "Everything is so confusing at your age, I remember the first time my cycle came about…" The princess' laugh was light, like the tinkling of beautiful bells, "By the end of the first day, I'm sure the whole castle had heard about it," Allura's body was positioned so her back was to the camera but Pidge could feel the smile in her tone. "So I'm going to wait here, okay?" Her hands dropped into her lap and her legs curled up under her, "I'm going to wait until you're ready, Pidge." The princess leaned back against the green lion's foot, "You don't have to talk, you don't have to say anything but we're going to go through this together."

Her lion rumbled underneath her and Pidge could feel the green lion pouring the same sentiment into her.

"I don't know how things on Earth were, but here…" Allura paused and her hand reached up to rest against the green lion, "Here you will never be alone. I promise."

Allura's voice echoed through the vacant room. She could almost feel the girl's stare at her back.

It broke her heart, it really broke her heart that Pidge was feeling so upset and scared. Allura knew better than anyone how frightening it could be. In her own childhood and teenage years, she had many wonderful people in the castle who were there to help her and make her feel better.

Going through something like this without anyone to talk to or help talk you through… Allura wouldn't be the person she was today without the guidance and help from the people who had loved and cared for her.

She didn't fancy herself as a mentor or someone with all the answers. Looking around her and at the perils that the universe faced, she had so many doubts and fears and struggles about trying to lead the broken Altean Empire. How was one supposed to lead when her planet was wasted and her people were on the verge of extinction?

Everyday Allura strived to rise above herself and be the person her father had groomed her to be. It was hard for her to look at the castle and see just how dark and long the shadows have become. However, Allura really did believe that the Empire would return, stronger and brighter than ever before. It was the one thing she had to believe, for the sake of her people if not for herself.

Allura had been so scared that there really wasn't going to be anyone else left beside herself and Coran. There was no worse pain, no worse disgrace for a ruler than to be the last and have to watch as the hope of her people died with her.

Pidge had been a bright beacon of hope in the darkness. Allura had been so overcome with emotion that at first she hadn't been sure how to even address the other. It had been an interesting adjustment in the first few weeks of getting to see Pidge as who she really was.

Allura had come to love the green paladin dearly. However, it was still a challenge to adjust to the new struggles that came with having another Altean who knew so little about the culture that she should've been immersed in from such a young age.

Allura had questions, deep burning questions and anger about how an Altean child could've been so carelessly left alone on an uncharted planet with no one to take care of her. The princess thanked the stars everyday that the Holt family had taken Pidge in and given her a home. There were many worse fates that could have come to the young Altean.

When the war began, and the Galra began to slowly take control, it was not just casualties that decimated the Altean people…

Even now, Allura's blood burned with rage as she could remember the first reports that had come in about slavers. A few Altean ships had been taken captive and her people had been brought to the auction block on the far stretches of the galaxy. They had fought heroically against the efforts and their allies had as well but after the major assault against their planet…

It had been almost ten millennia since that day. When she had woken, Allura was devastated to find that her people had seemingly been forgotten. But Pidge, her dear paladin, had shed the faintest of light onto the subject.

Her people were some of the bravest, smartest and adaptable in all the known galaxies. She was sure that they were out there, scattered among the stars and waiting to be called home. The first step would be to create a pact of solidarity and finish the fight against the Galra once and for all.

But sitting there, leaning her head back as she sat in silence- Allura couldn't help but wonder if each discovery was going to be like this. With such an announcement of Voltron being spread across the galaxy, Allura had hoped that maybe with the discovery of Pidge, that more would come out of hiding.

Did the other Alteans even know who they were? That was a question that Allura was beginning to wrap her head around. It had been over ten millennia since the Altean Empire had a royal family member behind it. Where had everyone else gone? What had happened to the remaining citizens?

The first generation after the attack on Altea would be surely gone by now and the second and third would be up in age by now as well. The Alteans of this age would be fourth generation gone by without a planet or a culture to call home. The world had changed around Allura and she was afraid of what she would discover.

Were they all like Pidge? Did the Alteans assimilate into other cultures and become forgotten? Would they even remember who they once were and what a great nation they had been?

Allura smoothed a few loose hairs and sighed quietly to herself. There were challenges in the future and trials she would be sure to face but without fail they would overcome them together.

The princess looked up as a quiet hiss broke her thoughts and the door to the green lion opened. Standing in the hangar doorway was Pidge. Allura stood up and patiently waited as the green paladin slowly dropped out from her lion.

A moment or two passed and Pidge stood uncomfortably in front of Allura. Her hands covered her ears and her eyes were puffy and rimmed red as she stared down at ground.

Pidge couldn't even begin to try to formulate an explanation to Allura. Anything she tried got stuck in her throat. But she didn't have to say anything. A cool hand pressed against her flushed cheeks and the green paladin felt her chin slowly guided up to meet Allura's comforting gaze. Pidge couldn't help but wince slightly as the princess carefully slid her hand up to her left ear.

"It… It hurts Allura." Pidge quietly admitted. Her words could barely be heard, it took a lot more courage than the green paladin would admit to even voice it.

"I bet it does…" Allura spoke, her tone subdued as she took a careful look over the angry red skin. Her lips pursed and herself couldn't help but frown in concern. Pidge's ears weren't in great condition. It should've never had gotten this far. Allura was sure it had been the training this morning that had really set it off.

The ears during a cycle were considered to be in a tender state. The skin was fresh and any harsh rubbing against it would easily chaff and create blisters like the ones Pidge was sporting now. It was a relief that they hadn't broken and begun to ooze. With a bit of time they would go away on their own but that didn't make them any less painful.

Pidge felt vulnerable standing under the scrutiny of the other. She had never asked for help with anything concerning her ears. Her mind was telling her to walk away so she wouldn't bother anyone. But her heart ached enough that Pidge wasn't sure if it was her own self preservation or her pride that was really holding her back. Pidge swallowed heavily and when took a breath, "Do you think… Do you think you can help me?"

Allura's look was reassuring to Pidge, "Of course I can." She soothed, moving a stray hair out of the way before letting her hands fall back down at her sides, "I promise you that everything is going to be all right."

Pidge blinked away from Allura, her eyes were blurry and she couldn't help but painfully swallow back the show of emotions that she was so unused to displaying. Pidge's was increasingly becoming uncomfortable with the lack of distance between them. The green paladin went to pull away but a surprisingly firm hand against her shoulder kept Pidge in place

Allura's examined her red skin and Pidge verbally bit back a yelp of pain. The princess ran a finger over the bumpy skin and hovered over the blisters. Clicking her tongue, Allura pursed her lips. There wasn't really any malice intended behind the princess’ pensive displeasure but Pidge flinched regardless.

The green paladin uneasily allowed herself to be led to the work table. Patting the counter, the princess silently gestured for the paladin to take a seat before she began to dig through her pockets. Pidge bit her lip and looked nervously at the princess before finally hopping up onto the table.

Allura's hands were wrapped around something odd that looked as if it was glowing. With a crack, the geocrystal broke and a liquid oozed out onto the handkerchief that the princess was holding in her palm

Pidge's legs swung over the edge of the bench and she stared at Allura. She couldn't help but look curiously over at the liquid. Pidge had never seen anything like it before. "What is that?" She asked, breaking the silence with her ever growing thirst for knowledge. The liquid soaked into the cloth and the dull blue handkerchief illuminated with it.

"This," Allura began, putting the remaining crystals in her pocket, "-is an Aurum Crystal that was once harvested on Altea." Pidge looked over curiously as Allura held out the soaked cloth, "It has healing abilities that, like the cryptopods, have fantastic regenerative abilities, but-" Allura paused for a moment, "There is one distinction between the crystals and the pods."

Pidge uncomfortably scratched at her ear, "And what's that?" She distractedly asked, her nose crinkled as her marks ached once again from the pressure.

Allura closed the distance between them and her hand snapped up to grip Pidge's shoulder much to the green paladin's confusion. The princess' sparkling blue eyes, narrowed in concentration eyes. Pidge didn't even get a chance to protest as the liquid was pressed gently but firmly against the helix of her ear.

At first it felt cool and tingly but immediately after, all Pidge could feel was pain. It blindsided her and she couldn't help but cry or in protest against the touch.

"I know it hurts," She soothed, "The main difference is that the aurum crystals sting quite a bit more than the cryptopods." Allura, frowned slightly and gently dabbed at the open sores.

Pidge was no stranger to antiseptics but in this moment would've preferred an entire bottle of iodine. The burning tripled with each touch of the soaked cloth and at this point the only thing that kept Pidge in place was the tight hold Allura had on her shoulder.

"I'm afraid I must ask you to refrain from moving," The princess hummed, adjusting her grip on Pidge. The end of her fingers pressed against her chin and the green paladin's head was guided to the right so Allura could take a look at the other ear.

Allura cracked a few of the crystals against the table. With dull thud, the edges webbed with small fractures and a shiny liquid oozed out. Catching the few shards in her hand, the princess deposited them on the table before holding out the other side of her handkerchief. The liquid soaked into the cloth and Pidge eyed it warily before taking a sharp breath.

She bit her tongue and her jaw grinded down against the pain. Pidge begrudgingly complied with the previous request and did her best to stop squirming as Allura went after her other ear with similar treatment. Pidge sucked in a breath in an attempt to steady herself and closed her eyes for what seemed like forever.

"There we go," Allura softly spoke, breaking the lapse of silence that had fallen between them. "I think we're done with that for now. The empty hull of the crystal laid against the table and it's previously bright glow had faded to a dull yellow.

By the time Allura had finished, Pidge's ears were raw. Her ears weren't itching but in its place was a very distinct, stinging pain. Between her burning ears and throbbing marks, Pidge was thoroughly miserable.

Pidge sullenly stared down at the bench. Lifting her hand, Pidge irritantly rubbed at the pressure that was mounting under her eyes and the base of her neck. She audibly groaned as her marks sputtered to life once again, pulsing with a bright pink glow.

Allura's brows raised in slight surprise at the bright flash and Pidge's expression soured. Ducking her head, Pidge sulked and immediately brought her hands to her face. "I hate this! I hate it when they do that!" She remarked, "I look like a bright pink traffic light!"

Something nudged against the inside of her hand and Pidge glanced up to see Allura's hands steadily replacing her own against her swelling, flashing marks.

Pidge's face was flushed from the heat radiating off her face and it was almost jolting to feel Allura's cool hands edge across her cheeks. She stayed stock still and closed her eyes as Allura's fingers delicately maneuvered until they were placed directly below each pink mark. Pidge has never had anyone come even close to touching her face in such a way. Pidge had spent so much time hiding them that it was foreign to have anyone come anywhere close to touching them.

Flicking her eyes up, Pidge went slightly cross eyed as she took in Allura's own marks. They were pink as well but they had more more of a delicacy to them. Instead of a blemish, in Pidge's eyes, they were refined and bold against Allura's dark skin. They made her look regal and strong- like a hero's badge showing everything she had weathered over the years… everything Pidge wasn't.

Pidge was hyper aware of her own marks. She could feel the ache and the dull throbbing coming from those pink monstrosities. They weren't even close to what Allura's looked like. The edges weren't straight and they looked more like a weird cluster of hot pink moles. Each bump and glow coming from her skin felt unnatural and embarrassing.

"I'm not sure what a traffic light is,"

Pidge took a sharp breath as Allura's thumbs carefully maneuvered up until they were pressing against the sides of her throbbing temple.

"-but they are nothing of the sort." Allura's eyes' narrowed in concentration. Her fingers kneaded into her skin and Pidge was star struck.

The green paladin melted under her touch and her body instantly relaxed. Her eyes closed and she couldn't help but just lean forward into Allura's seemingly magical hands. Pressing into her cheekbones and around the base of her neck, the pressure slowly bled out under Allura's fingers. Pidge closed her eyes, a soft sigh escaped her and her chest relaxed. She hadn't even realized she had been holding her breath.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Allura murmured, moving her fingers up to curl back into the edges of her cheekbones. Pidge raised a brow in surprise. Looking up, she opened her mouth to speak but a well placed hand only had her groaning in contentment. All the pressure built up under her cheeks was pressed out under Allura's expert touch.

"My governess, Nivi, used to do this when I was about your age." Allura's voice was barely above a whisper, her tone silky smooth and comfortingly soft. Pidge's eyes fluttered.

"I remember one particular day I came back from a really bad day of lessons." The princess started, reaching her fingers back to massage into Pidge's curls. "It has been a catastrophic day. I had woken up late, failed my diplomacy test and ruined an expensive set of robes. I had been in such an irritable mood and had gotten quite lively with one of my instructors. He wrote me up and sent me off to the head scholars' office." Pidge's head slipped forward and she found herself leaning heavily against Allura. "I was completely distraught, angry at how my morning had gone and just stormed off from the headscholars' office. I went racing through the castle, completely in tears and determined that I wasn't going to talk to anyone else for the next hundred years. I had been afraid of what my father would say once he had found out what I had done. I was inconsolable, which is how Nivi found me, hiding in the stables." Pidge could hear the smile in Allura's voice. There was a kind fondness as the unfamiliar name rolled off her tongue.

"And then what happened?" Pidge murmured, her voice thick and heavy.

Allura's hands paused for a moment in thought before massaging her fingers against Pidge's shoulders, "Well, a few things happened. For one thing, Nivi had been very cross with me at the time." The princess hummed, "I had skipped the rest of my lessons and had disappeared for hours without telling anyone where I was going." Allura laughed a little to herself and sat down on the counter next to Pidge. "The whole castle had been thrown inside out in a grand search and even a few patrols of guards were sent out. I really had given everyone quite a scare." Her grip adjusted and the green paladin could barely even protest as her head fell back against Allura's chest.

"Did you get in trouble?" Pidge blinked blearily and exhaustion slowly seemed to creep in.

"I think trouble is an understatement," The princess let out a light breath in amusement, "I remember being disciplined quite severely," She confessed, thinking a bit to herself, "But do you want to know what my governess said?"

Pidge's eyes closed and she sluggishly nodded her head. The glow in her marks were beginning to slowly fade and a Knowing smile edged on Allura's lips.

"She had been disappointed in me not because of anything I had done earlier that day but because I had run away from it all." The princess spoke, tracing a finger over Pidge's cheeks.

_"You are more than the sum of your accomplishments, Allura- and not any less because of your mistakes. Running has never solved a problem and it never will. Even if-"_

"-you fail again and again, your character is defined by the amount of times that you can get up." Allura spoke, closing her eyes for a brief moment.

_"Choices Allura, never forget that you always have choices. The choice to run away and the choice to take responsibility for what you do. If you run, there is never a chance to move on."_

"There is no such thing as irredeemable, only those who are unwilling to grow." Allura finished, her voice soft and reminiscent, "Pidge, I understand how hard it is. How scary all this is for you. But Hunk, Keith, Lance, Shiro, Coran and myself- we all care about you and running and hiding yourself away…" Allura's breath hitch for a moment, "Pidge, I'm here to help. We're all here to help. And no matter what happens, no matter how frightening it is. You won't have to go through it alone."

Pidge's weight shifted and Allura blinked down. The green paladin laid heavily against her chest and her breathing evened out to quiet sighs. Pidge was asleep. Not that Allura was surprised. Between the aching ears and the mounting physical and mental pressure, Pidge had an emotional day and the toll of it all had clearly exhausted her.

The princess stayed there for a while. She watched Pidge's chest rise and fall with her steady rhythmic breathing. Allura smoothed out the paladin's curls. She couldn't help but take notice of how young Pidge looked with all her features relaxed and put to rest.

Lifting her hand up, Allura gently tucked an arm underneath Pidge's legs and cradled her head in the crook of her arm before lifting. Allura was almost surprised at how light her green paladin was.

The princess ghosted down the halls. She didn't see any of the other passengers of the ship and for once, Allura was grateful that the halls was so quiet. Pidge didn't stir once during the walk. Allura had paused in front of Pidge's door for a brief moment before walking past.

The princess carried Pidge up the slight incline. The doors automatically slid open and Allura walked through the open corridor.

* * *

 Leaning over the mainframe, Allura carefully punched in a few coordinates before looking back up at the screen. The map in her hand had updated numbers of where the Galra were and what planets needed to be liberated. Allura knew they couldn't go to each one, there was no time for that. But if they strategically freed a cluster of planets that had political clout and fighting force, they could begin to settle a really beginning of resistance in the galaxy.

"Good evening, Princess."

Allura startled slightly at the voice, she hadn't even heard the doors open. "Coran, you startled me," Allura breathed, letting out a slight sigh as she looked up over the charts. "Is it really already evening?"

"If you've been working long enough to not know the time, then maybe you ought to take a break then?" Coran suggested, peering over her shoulder to look at the coordinate markers. "There will still be Galra ships to mark on that map of yours when you get back and I don't think an hour or two of your time will change that."

The princess smiled and stood up from where she was sitting. She rubbed a hand over the back of her neck, "I suppose a nice cup of tea couldn't hurt."

"Hunk is already steeping a pot as we speak," Coran spoke, carefully gathering up a few of the star charts before setting them aside. "How's Pidge doing?"

"The same, she is still sleeping. I asked our little furry friends to keep an eye on her. I haven't gotten any reports so I am assuming she's still in bed- which really is for the best. The poor dear was absolutely exhausted." Allura tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Did the boys finish up their "project" you had them help you with."

"Actually we got a lot farther than I expected." Coran nodded his head, "We got four of them done. There are two more pipes to do but I suppose I'll save those to be done at your discretion Princess,"

"Thank you Coran," Allura sincerely spoke, her eyes shining, "I really do appreciate it,"

"You're welcome, Princess. It was really no trouble at all." Coran spoke, "Urgency is a matter of opinion, after all. And I believe Shiro was very happy with today's overall training. I think he viewed each pipe as a team exercise."

Allura fell in step with Coran and they both began to walk towards the door. "Do you want the rest of your crystals back?" She asked, pulling a few of the remaining crystals from her pocket, "I still have a few left that weren't used."

Coran shook his head, "No, I think it's best if you keep them, Allura. If Pidge is anything like you were back in your younger years, I would say she's going to need them more than I ever will. I remember a time when a young Altean princess was more scrapes and bumps than anything else."

Allura flushed slightly, "I was not that bad, Coran." Her eyes rolled slightly and her brow was raised in slight disbelief. "I believe you are remembering wrong."

"If you say so, Princess" Coran cleared his throat, "But I think the 1003rd annual Summer Festival really showed the highlight-"

"And I thought we agreed never to speak of that again," Allura responded, looking over at the older Altean, "It's been how many years since that and you still won't let that go?"

Coran shook his head, "I don't think the entire populace of Altean was going to let that go anytime soon. I'm sure if things had stayed the way they were, it would've ended up in the royal archives."

"I suppose it was rather… rash." Allura conceded, humming to herself, "But the way I see it, you really are being a bit over the top-"

"You know what I think is over the top? When a young princess is so affronted by a group of royal dignitaries that she sends the entire group into the lake."

"In my defense, the bridge was already weak as it was and they were being abhorrently rude," Allura spoke, "Maybe justice just naturally came about. It's not my fault they all decided to do it the treaty over the lake. If their morals weren't on solid group then neither should they be on solid ground."

"Allura," Coran sucked in a breath, " In front of the entire populace of Altea, your father and the entire group was sent catering into the lake after you sabotaged the supports. A royal peace treaty was held off for half a cycle."

"I don't think one swim caused that much of a problem," Allura flushed slightly, "And for the record, this is alleged, no one could really ever prove anything."

"They couldn't swim at all, princess." Coran flatly spoke, "And for the record, it was your father who found the pretty blue bow that had been left as the scene of the crime." The old commander paused for a moment before sighing, "The only problem is that he completely approved."

"Well of course! You can't tell me that they weren't stuffy, old, cahoots didn't get what was coming to them!" Allura's eyes sparkled before she quickly cleared her throat.

Coran couldn't help but laugh and shook his head, "They were particularly full of themselves weren't they? Well, it's probably best if your keep the crystals regardless. And I suppose I'll keep my swim suit handy. There aren't any lakes around here but the stars know that Pidge could build one if she wanted to."


End file.
